A Taste of Home
by eDiggy
Summary: All he wanted to do was help her out while Sasuke was gone. One-shot.


I want to lose myself in you. Our wedding could be quiet, no one would have to know. Unless you wanted them to. You can wear white, or green or blue or whatever suits your heart and I will play to your desires in any way you see fit.

* * *

She waved at him from the garden, catching his eye as he stared. He flushed, hoping she hadn't known how long he had been watching. He waved back. Just a friendly gesture. They watched each other for another moment before she turned away again. He kept watching.

He felt like an old man. His own students already holding such high achievements. He was there for their weddings, of course. How could he not be? Naruto had been on the verge of tears when he and Hinata had their ceremony, and Sakura glowed when she stood beside Sasuke.

Sasuke. What a fool. A damned fool. Make a baby with Konoha's best kunoichi, then leave. And Sakura herself, even more of a fool. But he allowed it, not that he would have had a say in the matter one way or the other. Things weren't fine and he knew it. He knew that she expected change, she hoped that Sasuke would stop running off like some vigilante, but everyone knew that would never happen. The longest he stayed in the village was three days at most. And that had been months ago. He meant no harm by it. Sakura was strong and devoted, hopeful of her fairytale ending. But he saw how it was wearing away at her. Saw the way she looked at her daughter, so much love and hope. Hope. Still hoping, Sakura?

There must be something he could do. Something that a friend would do. They were friends after all. But what? How could he help? He was no good at comfort and if he were to barge in and ask if she were okay he would end up on the wrong end of her fist. He would need to be sneaky. Go in with something innocent, like dropping by as a friend. Friends dropped by sometimes, right?

Okay, he convinced himself. He'll pay her a visit tonight. See if she needs help around the house or someone to watch Sarada. That's what a good friend would do. At least, that's what Naruto would do. He checked the time. Not even Noon. He wondered if anyone would notice if he left now.

Before he could think further about slipping out the window, he looked back to his desk. Filled with papers as usual. Actually… more than when he last looked a few minutes ago.

He sighed. Once again, resigning himself to the path fate laid before him, he got to work.

Every time he looked up it seemed that time was moving slower. Despite being busied with meetings, assigning missions, and the ever-growing pile of papers, the clock seemed to be moving so slow, backwards even. He checked for a genjutsu once just to be sure. Where the hell was Naruto? Wasn't he supposed to be assisting him with all of this? It didn't matter. Naruto's time would come soon enough and maybe Kakashi could finally be free. Or, as free as any S ranked ex-hokage could be. He thought briefly about fleeing the village or becoming a vigilante like Sasuke. Maybe nothing that drastic, maybe just a vacation… For the rest of his life.

He began to think of a quiet life and a small house. He envisioned not waking up until noon and being able to make breakfast for himself, then spending the day reading and looking out the window. Maybe Gai would come to visit to challenge him to some asinine game. That would be nice. He would visit Naruto and Hinata in the evenings and enjoy all the perks of being associated with the Hokage without any of the work, and Sakura would come to check on him and he would say he was fine but she would insist on a check up and they would chat and she would talk about the goings on and he would listen. Yes. That would be just about right.

His daydreams managed to carry him through his last bit of work and he fled the Hokage Tower with all the gusto of a school child leaving for summer break. Tonight he had something to look forward to. He wondered if Sakura would be busy making dinner and he wondered if she would be making extra, and maybe he could beg for some. Or maybe he could make dinner for the three of them. If she hadn't started already. Or possibly just helping clean dishes or laundry or just watching Sarada while she went out or caught up on work. Yes. That's what a good friend would do, and tonight Kakashi was the best friend Sakura could ask for. He would make sure of it.

He tried not to let it affect him when he arrived to Sakura's empty house. He snuck in to see if she was asleep, everything was dark and there were no signs of life. Maybe she was still at the hospital.

So he checked. Of course, he didn't go inside, he wasn't crazy. But he lurked outside the window to her office and peeked into various rooms, feeling for signs of her chakra. Nothing.

"Hokage-sama?"

A nurse had spotted him crouching in the windowsill to one of the empty patient rooms.

"Oh uh… Good evening." He tried to keep cool and not show that he felt like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Dr Uchiha has already left. Is there something I can help you with? Are you okay?" The young man seemed used to stray shinobi lurking outside hospital windows.

"I'm fine, thank you." He hesitated a moment, "Do you know where she went?" He felt vulnerable. He would have preferred a kunai at his throat, but he still wasn't giving up.

"Sorry, no."

Of course not. What kind of friend was he, not knowing what she was doing after work. How could he be helpful if he couldn't even find her?

He hadn't noticed that he had been staring or that the nurse began to fidget uncomfortably under his gaze. "Um, Hokage-sama?"

Kakashi came back to reality, and with a quick "Excuse me." He was gone.

Kakashi wasn't recognized as the best ninja in the village for nothing. It took him a minute but he found her. She and Sarada had joined Ino and Sai for dinner at a small restaurant. They seemed to be having a good time. Kakashi stayed out of sight but still watched as he waited for them to finish. They laughed, Sarada and Inojin played with each other and he knew that Sai knew he was there.

* * *

Kakashi had strategically placed himself on the road between the restaurant and Sakura's house. His nose was firmly planted in Icha Icha and when she spotted him, he acted surprised.

"You're out late." It was an innocent enough comment on his part.  
"I could say the same for you. Are you stalking me?"  
"What would make you say that?"  
"Oh, I don't know," She drew the words out in a slow sing-song tone, "Maybe the fact that you tripped my chakra seals at home and you were at the hospital and Sai said you were outside while we were eating?"

He put his book away, obviously unable to hide, "It seems I'm losing my touch."

She smiled, giving him a wide and shining grin as if she had won a game.

He felt his heart inflate and couldn't help but smile back. "Well, since I'm already here you wouldn't mind entertaining an old man, would you?"

"Depends on what you mean by _entertain._"

Despite her comment she invited him along to her house. She told him Sarada was staying with Ino and Sai for the night and she was looking forward to some alone time.  
"Well, I don't want to be a burden then." Kakashi stated as they got to her front door, preparing to say goodnight.  
"I mean, you don't have to go, you just didn't tell me you were going to visit."  
"I figured that it had been a while." He stood there feeling lost. All of his gusto from earlier now vanished with Sakura standing in front of him. It all seemed so easy in his head.

They were friends, he shouldn't have felt so lost for what to do. His big plans for helping. Helping with what? He looked dumbly around her house. Nothing needed doing, no dishes or laundry or tidying, no Sarada to be watched. Nothing but him and her. He felt foolish.

"Have you heard from Sasuke?" Her voice chirped from the stove where she was making tea.

"Not in a while, his last message was about a week ago."  
"Is he doing okay?"  
"He seems to be fine."  
"Any idea when he'll be home?"  
"He didn't say anything," He didn't have to see her face to feel her disappointment.  
They both knew that he couldn't share more.

They were quiet for quite some time as she served their tea and she sat next to him on her couch.

"I didn't think it was going to be like this." Sakura was looking deeply into her cup.  
"I can go, really, it's no problem." He was already setting his cup down when she touched his arm.  
"No, not you. I mean, this-" She gestured to her house. "It's everything I wanted. I should be so happy, but I'm not." Kakashi was thinking of all of the things he could say to try to make her feel better but he must have took too long because she kept going. "Sasuke doesn't want this. He wanted an heir and he's got one. He told me he had no intention of staying here, with us. He said I was strong enough to watch myself and Sarada, and he said he loved us." She looked to Kakashi now. His heart broke for her, there were tears in her eyes and a tremble to her lips. "Just because I can doesn't mean I want to. I wanted to wake up next to him every day and live a normal life, or as normal as we could make it." A dry sob choked her. "We don't have a guaranteed life as shinobi, I just thought…" And she couldn't go on. She broke in a way he hadn't seen her break in a very long time. And he let her cry.

She ended up with her head on his lap and a blanket thrown over her, his fingers in her hair. Her sobs had subsided a while ago and she was sitting in the cathartic aftermath of her tears. He wasn't uncomfortable, he accomplished his goal in his opinion, not that that mattered anymore. She rolled over to look up at him.  
"Let's run away." Her voice was slightly hoarse.  
"We could get away with it. Who would catch us?"  
She laughed at the thought. "Naruto."  
He smiled at her. "It's late. You should go to bed."  
She sat up and they sat quietly for a moment before she stood and made her way to her bedroom. He followed quickly behind her until she stopped suddenly at the door. She looked to him and he was suddenly nervous again. He had intended on making sure she got to bed okay but it was clear to him from the look on her face that he had overstepped his boundaries.

But then "Do you want to sleep with me?"

The question shot through his brain like an arrow. He was still processing the question when she smiled again like she had earlier, like she had just won another game he didn't know he was playing. "You should see your face, I can only see part of it but I bet the rest is just as good."  
"Sakura, I don't think-"  
"I don't mean like that, Kakashi. I mean, just next to me. You know, as friends." She hesitated a moment and he could see that she was feeling uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired and I kind of liked having you here. It's okay if you say no and we never speak of this again." She was already moving to her bed when he spoke.  
"I think…"  
She stopped to look at him.  
"I think I could manage sleeping with you." He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I mean, I've obviously faced much more difficult assignments." He tried to lighten the mood.

Despite his brave words he felt hopelessly lost. Yes they were good friends, and yes he wanted to be there for her, but he almost wished she was asking for sex so he could very firmly turn her down, but this… This was innocent. This was Sakura craving human contact, Sakura not wanting to be alone, and how could he deny that to her? He couldn't. She wanted something that he could provide. He saw how her heart broke further after Sasuke's brief visits and tonight was just a whim. Just once. No one else had to know and then it would never happen again. He wondered if Sauske would even care.

He shed some of his layers keeping on his long under pants and sleeveless shirt with the mask attached and she changed into some unicorn covered pink sleep pants and a light green tank top. With his clothes folded neatly and placed on top of her dresser, their pseudo ritual was almost complete. All that was left was to lie down next to her. He hesitated a moment, but the way she patted the bed next to her gave him enough encouragement to slip in next to her. For a moment he felt strange laying in another man's bed with another man's wife, but then he realized that man hadn't been in this bed except maybe a handful of times, and there was nothing unvirtuous taking place here. Just a friend comforting a friend. That's how he justified it when Sakura snuggled very close to him. She had her legs and arms tangled around him with her head resting on his shoulder and shortly after she settled into him she was breathing deeply, already asleep. He took a moment to study her as best he could, his head turned into her he could smell her very distinctly. He didn't like the smell of hospital, but on her it was tolerable. Before he knew what he was doing he pressed his face to the crown of her head, giving her a masked kiss before relaxing and falling asleep as well.


End file.
